I have been trying to figure out a way to do research on gay and lesbian couples and their wishes for having children. Unfortunately, I don't know many gay and lesbians. This past weekend I asked a table of guys and girls if there were any gays or lesbians in the group and explained why I asked (I was in New Orleans). I told them I was doing research for my blog. One of the guys at the table gave me his wife's email address because she is an attorney and had just completed a gay adoption. Of course they were form the north. I can do research on the Internet but it does not seem to mean as much to me. I would rather talk with an individual and see how they feel about the issue. I plan on contacting the attorney via email, but have not done this yet. I guess we took a step back this week since California banned gay marriage. Really what is the big deal??? Aren't we over it. I don't seem to understand why people can't face reality, there are gay people. I do not think this is going to change anytime soon. I know that I am laid back, but who cares if someone chooses to be gay. According to a March 2006 Pew Research Center poll, 46 percent of Americans support gay and lesbian adoption, up from 38 percent in 1999, www.cnn.com. This is a pretty large number. If the American people support gay adoption then whey don't they support gay marriage? This is a cute ad for gay adoption, check it out!!!

My Perspective

I was trying to think about what I wanted to write this week in my blog. My creative juices just aren't as exciting as they were in the beginning of the semester. I was thinking about my life and what I hope to accomplish as I age. I am reaching my final few years of young adulthood, so what do I want now? I started thinking about this question, first of all I would like to get married and start a family. I have a career and am satisfied with my education(there is always an opportunity to learn more). As I was thinking of this my blog topic came to me, What do gays and lesbians my age want? I assume they want the same as I do. I know that everybody matures at different times and their wants are different, but most people want a companion to grow old with and children to watch grow and prosper. This is what Harry seemed to want in The Sum of Us. But do gay and lesbians want this? I would have to say sure, it might not come during their early adulthood years, but later considering the struggles they might to have had to overcome. Once they become accepted in society and by their families, then maybe they can settle down and think about their futures. This might happen in their middle adulthood years, but they should not be denied a companion or children based on a homosexual lifestyle. They are still human and want the same things as heterosexuals. How can our society tell another human they aren't good enough to have a child or companion, and make laws against this. Hopefully we are changing to accept all people. WE should not discriminate against gays or lesbians. Every person I have come into contact with that is gay has been awesome, I would love for anyone of them to become a foster parent or adoptive parent(it would sure be better than the ones we have now in our system). I have never witnessed any type of behavior that I would question, I have not been behind closed doors with them, but if you are like me what you see is what you get. I just hope that one day soon gays and lesbian starting advocating and trying to adopt more children. I know there are plenty of them out there, I just have not met any of them yet, down here in the south. I think this would be so cool, I know when I have children they will think gay, lesbians, purple, red, yellow, green, blue, black, and white people are all cool! We should all coexist and be one big happy family, HA HA!!

I did not think one of the movies we watched in class was going to pertain to my topic, but I was wrong. The Sum of Us actually had a gay character, there are very few movies that portray the real lives of gay men. Jeff was a gay male trying to find love. He had low self esteem because of his past relationships, but ultimately wanted a companion to love and live with. Harry his father accepted Jeff's lifestyle and wanted him to have love and maybe even have a family. Although, they did not address family in the movie, I wonder if Jeff and Greg got together. If they did would they consider trying to have a family? Greg seemed to embrace his lifestyle but was holding back because of what his parents reaction might be, but now that they know, will he be more open? I guess we won't know, but Harry would be excited about having grandchildren running around he continue to happy buzz(push his buzzer over and over when he was happy).
I went to an adoption training today, that was presented by an adoption agency. I am a wimp but I really wanted to ask the presenter if she had ever had any dealings with gay couples. I think she worked with Catholic Social Services in Nashville, so maybe not. I did google adoption agencies for gay and lesbian couples, many agencies work with heterosexual as well as gay and lesbian couples. I did not know that, I guess down in the south we are far behind the real times. I am sure there are plenty of couples out west and up north that are foster parents or who have adopted. Here are some links to help with the process of adoption......

Families Like Ours - a non-profit organization.
Adoption Resources for Gays and Lesbians - The International Commitment Ceremonies Registry provides this resource information including agencies, publications, and support groups.
Alternative Family Matters - Resources, information, and community for families seeking to grow by adoption, surrogacy, and assisted reproduction.
Family Builders - Working in 9 CA counties; no-cost special needs adoptions.
Growing Generations, LLC - Surrogacy options for the gay community. Located in California.
Lambda Legal Defense and Education - Legal information and representation for the gay and lesbian community, for adoption and other parenting issues.
Murdoch & Hughes - This Vermont-based firm provides legal services for interstate and Vermont adoptions.
Gay Adoption Debate and Poll - From YouDebate.com, read the arguments pro and con, add your own, and vote in the poll.
Legal Comparison of Dutch-American Adoption by Gays and Lesbians - An examination of case law, proposed legislation, comparisons, and analyses, from the Electronic Journal of Comparative Law.
Murdoch & Hughes - This Vermont-based firm provides legal services for interstate and Vermont adoptions.
Gay Adoption and Foster Parenting
Legal Directory - Adoption
Two Women and a Baby - Adoption by gays and lesbians is a controversial issue, but while the debate rages, happy families are being formed and thriving.
Coparent or Second-Parent Adoption by Same-Sex Parents - The American Academy of Pediatrics supports efforts to legislate adoption reform for gay/lesbian parents.
Child Welfare League of America Adoption Policy - In this 2002 article from the CWLA's Children's Voice, the policy is quoted as not based "on their race, ethnicity or culture, income, age, marital status, religion, appearance, differing lifestyles, or sexual orientation."
Family Equality Council - Supporting and protecting the families of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered parents.
Gay and Lesbian Family Values - Support for gay and lesbian couples or singles with children.
GLBTAdoptee Mail List - A forum for GLBT/queer adoptees to talk , share, and connect about issues such as identity and coming out.
PrideParenting.com - Adoption/Fostering
Adoption.com - The Internet's most popular adoption website for anyone touched by adoption.
Adoption.org – Whether you're looking to adopt, looking for birthparents, or are in a crisis pregnancy situation, the new Adoption.org Neighborhood has the resources to help you.
Adopting.org - Assistance, information, and support for all members of the adoption triad.
AdoptableKids.com - Internet photo listing of 1,000+ children awaiting adoption in U.S. foster homes and international orphanages.
AdoptionBoards.com - 600+ topical message boards related to adoption.
AdoptionCafe.com – Get answers to your adoption questions, share your adoption experiences, and talk with adoption friends in this new interactive adoption community.
AdoptionDirectory.com - The Internet's largest directory of exclusively adoption professionals. Find an adoption agency, adoption attorney, or search 30+ other categories.
AdoptionGroups.com - Create or join online adoption support groups with message boards, photo albums, calendars, and more.
AdoptionShop.com - The superstore for adoption books, magazines, music, videos, and more.
AdoptiveParents.com - The Internet's portal for adoptive parents before and after adoption.
Birthmother.com - The Internet's #1 online support group and interactive resource center for women facing unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption.
Chat.Adoption.com - The Internet's most popular site dedicated to adoption chat.
InternationalAdoption.org – If you are looking to adopt internationally or already have, you can find thousands of country-by-country resources, support, and information at InternationalAdoption.org.
ParentProfiles.com - The Internet's most popular & successful registry of hopeful adoptive parents.
Reunite.com - The Internet's portal for adoption search & reunion.
AdoptableKids.com - Internet photo listing of 1,000+ children awaiting adoption in U.S. foster homes and international orphanages.
AdoptionBenefits.com – Explore adoption benefits and find out what benefits your employer provides.
AdoptionBreastfeeding.com – Information for moms considering breastfeeding their adopted child.
AdoptionBabyShowers.com – Creative ideas for planning an adoption baby shower.
AdoptionCosts.com - What does it cost to adopt?
AdoptionFinancing.com – Assistance in financing your adoption dreams.
AdoptionTaxCredit.com – Information and support on the adoption tax credit.
ParentProfiles.com – Support for the adoptive family after adoption.
AdoptiveParenting.com - Parenting resources for adoptive parents.
MilitaryAdoption.com – Support and information for military families before and after adoption.
RelativeAdoption.com – Adopt a family member.
SpecialNeedsAdoption.com – Information and support for adoptive parents of special needs children.
StepparentAdoption.com – Assistance in adopting your stepchild.
TransracialAdoption.com – Information and support for ethnically and culturally blended families.
Birthmother.com - The Internet's #1 online support group and interactive resource center for women facing unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption.
AdoptionForums.com - Discussion forums hosted by adoption experts in several topics for specific questions.
AdoptionLaws.org – Adoption laws, statutes and summaries

ONE STEP AT A TIME.........



On Friday October 10, 2008 in the Mobile Press Register, under the national briefs section I found an interesting tidbit. The headline read Little Rock, Arkansas Same Sex foster care ban dropped. How exciting huh?, so I read further! Arkansas is dropping a plan to prohibit unmarried or same sex couples from taking on foster children. The state Department of Human Services said Thursday it will stop a plan to formalize a policy in place since 2005. The agency says it will instead propose allowing workers to place foster children on a case by case basis. The action comes ahead of a November initiative that would let voters decide whether to prohibit unmarried couples from adopting or fostering children. Arkansas does not recognize gay marriage. I feel this is a positive step in the right direction especially for a southern state and the urgent need for good foster parents. I do not think voters should be able to decide where our children are placed. Until you work in the system, you can not make choices for the system. Of course the average voter would vote against gays adopting or fostering. Do they know what the best interest of the child is, I do not think so!!!!! I am rather proud of the Arkansas legislature for allowing the Department to go ahead and letting gays and lesbians, as well as unmarried couples foster children.

That is all for this week, the main reason is my head hurts because I have been staring at a computer all week for 8 hours a day, not to mention I am in Montgomery in a hotel!! Please review the video I really enjoyed it, it says alot!!!

THE FACTS OF GAY AND LESBIAN ADOPTION

Facts and figures often change when it comes to gay and lesbian parenting. Adoption and foster care are areas where this is particularly true. The Williams and Urban Institutes recently released an updated study on these issues, combining data from a number of reliable sources and taking a fresh look at things. Authored by Gary J. Gates , M.V. Lee Badgett, Jennifer Macomber and Kate Chambers, the study, “Adoption and Foster Care by Lesbian and Gay Parents in the United States,” is full of interesting findings, some of which are excerpted below.
(All statements are directly excerpted from study unless marked with an asterisk*. Otherwise, we’ve condensed some data for readability.)
Parenting and Adoption
An estimated 27% of same-sex couples identified in Census 2000 have a child under 18 living in the home with them.

More than half of gay men and 41% of lesbians express the desire to have a child. The percentage for gay men (52%) is higher than that of heterosexual and bisexual men (33% each).*

An estimated 2,000,000 GLB people are interested in adopting.

Approximately 65,000 adopted children are being raised by lesbian or gay parents, accounting for more than 4% of all adopted children in the United States.

Gay and lesbian adoptive parents (uncoupled) represent nearly one in six single parents raising adopted children.*

In four racial/ethnic categories, same-sex couples adopt children of color at a slightly higher rate than married heterosexual couples.* The racial/ethnic breakdown of children adopted by same-sex couples is 53% white, 14% African-American, 18% Hispanic/Latino(a), and 11% Asian/Pacific Islander. The breakdown for children of married heterosexual couples is 63% white, 11% African/American, 13% Hispanic/Latino(a), and 8% Asian/Pacific Islander.

The top five states/districts in terms of the percentage of adopted children living with gay or lesbian parents are as follows: District of Columbia (28.6%), Massachusetts (16.4%), California (9.8%), New Mexico (9.0%), Alaska (8.6%).*

On average, same-sex couples raising adopted children are older, more (formally) educated, and have more economic resources than other adoptive parents: The average household income for same-sex couples raising adopted children is $102,474, versus $81,900 for different-sex married couples, $43,746 for different-sex unmarried couples, and $36,312 for single parents.

Same-sex couples hold graduate degrees at 34%, versus different-sex married couples at 13%, different-sex unmarried couples at 2% and single parents at 9%.

Parenting and Foster Care

An estimated 10,300 foster children live with a lesbian or gay foster parent, accounting for nearly 3% of all of foster children in the Untied States and 6% of foster children living in non-kin family foster care placements.

Almost 40% of all agencies and 83% of public agencies reported making at least one adoption placement with a lesbian or gay man. However, one-third of agencies would reject a gay or lesbian applicant, either because of the religious beliefs guiding the agency, a state law prohibiting placement with GLB parents, or a policy of placing children only with married couples. Additionally, agency heads are more likely to have negative views towards gays and lesbians adopting when they associate such adoptions with greater evaluation and support needs.*

Among the more than a third of foster parents who are single, one in seven is a lesbian or gay parent.

Single foster parents are more likely than others to be African-American (51%) and less likely to be white (31 percent). Foster children of single parents are more likely to be African-American (52%) and less likely to be white (26%) than children in other family types. Among foster families headed by couples, in contrast, approximately half of foster children are white and about 20% are African-American and an additional 20% are Latino(a).

One recent study of Midwestern youth who are or were in foster care found that almost 7% identified as homosexual or bisexual.

As of September 2005, 10,000 of the roughly 500,000 children in foster care (2%) had run away from their placement.

The portion of foster children with a disability is highest among those in same-sex couple households (32%).

Roughly 60% of all adoptions of children in foster care are by their foster parents.
Prohibiting GLB people from fostering would cost an estimated $87 to $130 million dollars nationwide

Prohibiting GLB people from fostering would result in the removal of 9,000 to 14,000 children from existing foster families.

http://www.familypride.org/blog/2007/04/new-numbers-released-on-gay-and-lesbian-adoptionfoster-care.html

I feel like this about sums it up in a nutshell. I found a great video, but do not know how to post it:( I will figure it out and hopefully have it up with this post. Of course I do not have any DHR policy, I know I said I would get it this week, but I wanted to post early due to the enormous amount of work we have this week!!! And, I will go ahead and tell ya'll I will not have it next week becasue I will be in training in Montgomery. So, before the end of this blogging adventure, I will have some info regarding DHR and gay and lesbian fostering and adoption. I hope everybody will take the time to read these statistics becasue they are very interesting regarding the gay and lesbian topic.

STRESS

I was planning on doing some (fairly) extensive research at the DHR Resource Department this week regarding foster parent application as well as look over the policy regarding fostering. BUT, with the week I have had here at the lovely DHR, I have not had a chance to do anything except try to keep my sanity!! It has been that bad, I even have started to develop a knot in my shoulder (this only comes around when I am under stressed). I guess I carry my stress on my shoulders, oh well. I am not worried about my self, it is the children. I just feel so bad for them, I feel helpless. I want them to know everything is going to be okay, but I know that they do not fell that way, and so what else can one do or say. When I started at DHR during one of our many trainings, we went on an imaginary journey. We were instructed to close our eyes, we were taken from our home, we could only bring a couple of belongings, and then brought to a new home where you knew nobody. This was supposed to be a representation of what children feel like when they are taken from their home. I did not sign up for this job to take children from their homes. I always say “I do not take kids, I take care of them”. BUT, unfortunately sometimes, I have to take them. This is never a fun experience, my feeling get to involved, but I always have to keep telling myself this is in the best interest of the child. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better for the child. Sorry, I had to vent a little this week. This incident does involve foster parents, heterosexual foster parents. As I read a couple of the post, I do not think there is such a thing as the perfect parent or foster parent. We are all human and are going to make mistakes, this is a part of life. So, I believe that having gay or lesbian foster parents would not be an issue because of the love that is being provided. I think that they would provide so much more than minimum standards, because they would want to prove that they are just as good as heterosexuals. Heterosexual foster parents do not even have to try because the ball has been dropped so low. The need for foster parents is so great that we are not even looking at what is in the best interest of a child, we are just looking for a place for them to go. I hope I can find one gay or lesbian couple in our community to come to DHR and foster or adopt. Sorry about this blog, it is kind of intense. I will be back next week in full stride (hopefully). I think that everyoneis having some issues, and I hope everybody gets better and has a good week!!!

The Recruiting has STARTED

So, I asked a resource worker about her feelings of gay and lesbian parents. We were in the elevator and I said, so I have a random question" What is your take on gay and lesbian foster parents?" She told me that the state of Alabama did not recognize gay and lesbian marriages, but she suggested that a gay or lesbian person could specify themselves as held of household. This would mean that they would have to separate themselves as a couple and be a single parent household. Would this demean their relationship? I would think so, because they could not recognize who was who. One parent would have to take the lead role and the other would be insignificant according to the state or foster parent organization. I also talked with another social worker; she thought that if a gay couple inquired about being foster parents that the state would pull out a morality clause regarding foster parents. This really disturbs me because anybody could define morality as their interpretation. How does one define MORALITY? Working for DHR and having a social service background, we are not suppose to judge, but the question is do we, and would we in this situation. Especially, since everyone who works in the resource department is older, and worked for the state for about 25-30 years each. So they are set in their ways and beliefs. Hopefully the new face of DHR can change the old ways. We will see and hopefully I will be a part of this change. I would hope since there is such a shortage of foster parents that we can get the word out and encourage gays and lesbians to start fostering. This would be a huge step, but a needed one.