So, I asked a resource worker about her feelings of gay and lesbian parents. We were in the elevator and I said, so I have a random question" What is your take on gay and lesbian foster parents?" She told me that the state of Alabama did not recognize gay and lesbian marriages, but she suggested that a gay or lesbian person could specify themselves as held of household. This would mean that they would have to separate themselves as a couple and be a single parent household. Would this demean their relationship? I would think so, because they could not recognize who was who. One parent would have to take the lead role and the other would be insignificant according to the state or foster parent organization. I also talked with another social worker; she thought that if a gay couple inquired about being foster parents that the state would pull out a morality clause regarding foster parents. This really disturbs me because anybody could define morality as their interpretation. How does one define MORALITY? Working for DHR and having a social service background, we are not suppose to judge, but the question is do we, and would we in this situation. Especially, since everyone who works in the resource department is older, and worked for the state for about 25-30 years each. So they are set in their ways and beliefs. Hopefully the new face of DHR can change the old ways. We will see and hopefully I will be a part of this change. I would hope since there is such a shortage of foster parents that we can get the word out and encourage gays and lesbians to start fostering. This would be a huge step, but a needed one.
5 comments:
Guts, balls, and more internal organs.
The Morality Clause is a bit like Santa Claus. Back in the day, which is also apparently today, state organizations (usually charitable ones) were tasked with the job of removing children from homes which were "immoral" and would cause damage to the child's moral development (not Erikson's). It pertained to drunkards, Catholics (not kidding), prostitutes, really poor, and unmarried persons - pretty much to lower class person who could be suspected of doing things in ways differing from the societal expectations of the norm, which was to be gratefully lower class, clean, and Protestant.
This morality clause is a part of state policy but I don't think it's called that - I'm not sure what it's called. It would be good to know - I do think the question about sexual orientation is asked on the application for foster parenting - at least, I've seen it on a packet from an adjacent county. I guess the way to begin is to find out the state code, then the county policy. Good luck!
Think about how many more foster homes we would have if we could include ALL the people willing to do it?! And as far as "morality" goes, as your fellow DHR worker I have seen plenty of HIGHLY immoral heterosexual foster parents. It's my opinion (and everyone has one) that kids just need love and boundaries no matter who is in the parental role. But, I wonder if homosexual foster parents would be more apt to foster with the intent to adopt, and not so willing to work towards reunification with birth parents? Even as I type that, I can think of several hetero foster parents who fit that description as well.
I was unsure of how to broach this subject where I am right now. I do think that it is imperative that recruiting for acceptable foster parents began but I am a little hesitant to say whether I would approve of this. Thinking about homosexuality and the negative stigma that is attached, would probably make it extremely hard on these children. What kinds of bullying or humiliation would they endure? Could they tolerate the ridicule? Would they be strong enough to withstand this if they have already are victims of Soul Murder? I am inclined to make an assumption and I feel that this idea may require further exploration and testing.
I think that gay/lesbian parenting has its own issues, all by itself. But I think that there are many gay/lesbian individuals who are well adjusted adults and could provide loving homes to foster children. I think their ability to gracefully cope with prejudice would be a wonderful skill they could teach foster children. As a foster parent, I noticed that many in the community (teachers, sunday school teachers, daycare workers, etc.) thought they had a say in how foster children are raised. I think there are many heterosexual relationships that are much more toxic to children.
Missy..I am researching the same thing You are but doing so for friend's of mine who are facing issues adopting in Alabama..These two women could offer a child a wonderful,loving and stable home. They are facing many barriers right now, having tried in-vitro and it's not working. After several miscarriages it's really starting to do more harm than good to try this route. I'm looking for anyone that can help Me to help them. I never realized that DHR in Alabama frowns upon gay and lesbian adoption of children in their care.. I could certainly use some input,advice or someone to roll ideas off of.
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